The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

a 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

two VR headsets, and a 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

three different iPads, two VR headsets, and a 104-in plasma screen tv.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

four iWatches, three different iPads, two VR headsets, and 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

making us facebook official, four iWatches, three different iPads, two VR headsets, and a 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

six electric scooters, making us facebook official, four iWatches, three different iPads, two VR headsets, and a 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

seven G wifi, six electric scooters, making us facebook official, four iWatches, three different iPads, two VR headsets, and a 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

eight bluetooth earbuds, seven G wifi, six electric scooters, making us facebook official, four iWatches, three different iPads, two VR headsets, and a 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

nine Instagram likes, eight bluetooth earbuds, seven G wifi, six electric scooters, making us facebook official, four iWatches, three different iPads, two VR headsets, and a 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

ten speaker surround sound, nine Instagram likes, eight bluetooth earbuds, seven G wifi, six electric scooters, making us facebook official, four iWatches, three different iPads, two VR headsets, and a 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

eleven percent introductory credit card interest, ten speaker surround sound, nine Instagram likes, eight bluetooth earbuds, seven G wifi, six electric scooters, making us facebook official, four iWatches, three different iPads, two VR headsets, and a 104-inch plasma screen tv.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

twelve times the Prozac, eleven percent introductory credit card interest, ten speaker surround sound, nine Instagram likes, eight bluetooth earbuds, seven G wifi, six electric scooters, making us facebook official, four iWatches, three different iPads, two VR headsets, and a whole bunch of other shit no one needs.

 

 

 

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A Worthwhile Trade on a Wintry Morning

I’ll bet no one ever gets

a cold in the tropics: there’s

never a damned chill in the

air or the inability to thaw,

regardless of how many blankets

or cups of coffee are used to

counteract the situation.

Indeed, of all the time

I’ve ever spent down on

that beautiful island down

south, I’ve only ever caught

a mild case of the clap.

 

Decomposition

Pity to those who travel here

seeking witty banter, jocular

prose or even perhaps that

momentary respite inside this

old, hectic mind: a thought about

the current state of fascism all

wrapped up in beautiful consumer

goods and single-use plastic.

A throwback to the good old

times, which might have never

really existed, except in this

dusty memory. Clouded with

regrets and gin, swaying drunkenly

in a second line. Closed eyes,

a smile, clutching this bourbon

and crumbling from the

outside.

 

Sorry to those who made this

journey, only to find the old

girl dead. Still at attention, she’s

decaying in the air, choked

by the fires, and blowing

away with the warming

Santa Ana winds.

Leif Ericsson on Mount Rushmore

Fancying ourselves as simply

hardworking Protestants,

bringing refinement and manners,

family values to the Thanksgiving

table, we truly celebrate the

colonization and conquest

of this new world: tearing apart

drumsticks and mutton chops.

Feasting with mirth and mead

in our American-made

Valhalla. Three cheers for

our determination to conquer

those who have extended

our lives with their

peace.

game over

Terrified all these years

to finally let go

and as soon as the wounds

healed from the coiled,

barbed grip on us,

It became apparent

that instead of falling

into my own darkness,

turning away from us

meant finally

soaring

to the light.

 

The Humidity Made Me Do It

It’s so hot

even the cicadas are complaining.

One can’t even walk down

the street.

Like running in water,

the dense, sweltering air

slows us all to a saunter.

Summertime. And the livin’ is easy. 

Contemplating life

from the porch,

because it’s too hot to think.

Even my sazerac

sweats down the side

I use it to cool my neck,

when grandmama’s fan fails me.

The second line processes just past

the iron fleur de lis.

Just a closer walk with thee. 

There’s no stopping the sweat

from trickling down my backbone.

Eventually, I saunter down

past the ferns and the willows

to the Golden Lantern,

order another sazerac

and look for someone else

who doesn’t mind

getting just a little more sweaty.

Ain’t misbehavin’, savin’ my love

for you.